Were I a samurai, now would be a perfectly appropriate time to commit seppuku. One of my most shambolic Gameweeks to date, which is something I thought impossible given how poorly this season is going. I finished on 30 points, a full 14 below average and plummeted down, outside of the top million. I honestly don’t even know what’s possible in the remaining 14 weeks. 200k? That even is a stretch. This could arguably end worse than my first ever season, which started in Gameweek 2. Triple captain is being played this week so its make or break time, lets hope my FPL nouse returns to me for the run in.

Goalkeepers

Vincente Guaita: 2 points

Another sub-optimal score from Guaita, who is yet to keep a clean since I got him in. I can’t blame him because it’s Man City, but boy does it sting to see BOTH of the two keepers I previously owned (Gazza and Pope) save penalties this week.

Michael McGovern: 0 points

Didn’t play.

Defenders

John Lundstram: 2 points

Nothing great or special. It was a bad fixture, so I can’t blame him for this. I just pray he doesn’t lose his spot.

Joe Gomez: 6 points

Another clean, but its finally happened. I was punished for not owning Trent. But there was only a 5 point difference between the two. Somewhat more ominously, Matip was on the bench. Let’s hope Klopp doesn’t break up the clean machine during this upcoming double gameweek.

Caglar Soyuncu: 1 point

This is the part where I start blaming people. Leicester seem to be a one man team, but that man isn’t Jamie Vardy, its Wilfried Ndidi. They have been woeful defending and going forward since his injury and my rank has absolutely tanked. I won’t waste a transfer on him but his spot comes into question on my wildcard.

Diego Rico: 2 points

He got his spot back! Still never gonna play him. And he dropped in price.

Martin Kelly: 2 points

The less said about this wasteman the better. Not a single return since I got him. Nothing.

Midfielders

Sadio Mane: 3 points

The first day of the dynamic duo double up did not go great. Mane blanked, but was dangerous. I feel like that’s the case a lot of the time.

James Maddison: 2 points

I’ve run out of patience with him. This was despicable. Rancid. I’m convinced he’s a big part of why Wolf Pack is a sinking ship. If there was someone in a comparable price range, I’d ship him. Maybe to Martial on Wildcard.

Leander Dendoncker: 2 points

My trusted ally. Getting the job done. Sorry I had to start and embarrass you this week, no hard feelings.

Kevin de Bruyne (C): 2 points

Typical. One week he’s footballing brilliance, next he’s Robert Snodgrass. Backing him for the captaincy truly hurt, until I saw Vardy’s score, who I was going to cap instead of him. Swings and roundabouts I guess.

Mohamed Salah: 7 points

Oh Mo. It feels good to be back in your safe arms. He sprinted down the length of the pitch in the last seconds of the game to slot home a nail in the coffin, but decided to take his shirt of and get the mustard. I really needed that point this week Mo.

Forwards

Mason Greenwood: 1 point

For the third time, he joins my team. He wasn’t supposed to see the pitch this week. Maybe he’ll lead the line now, and would be quite the bargain for the rest of the season.

Jamie Vardy: 0 points

What has happened to him. That baby isn’t letting him get any sleep. The pen he took this game was his first shot on target in the last two fixtures, and it was woeful. Poorly placed and powered, routine work from Pope. Credit to anyone who ditched him for King Kun.

Marcus Rashford: 0 points

OLE GUNNAR SKOLSJAER IS A NORWEGIAN PE TEACHER AND NOTHING MORE. How on earth could he push Rashy to play a FA cup fixture, with an already fractured back? He’s now fractured it in a second place, and will miss the rest of the season, potentially the Euros as well. Great job Ole, I’m sure going one round deeper in a meaningless cup competition was worth missing out on Champions league football and potentially crippling the future of your club’s forward line.