While not a disaster, this certainly was not a success. Once again, I was above the average, thanks to some magic from my Leicester duo (not trio mind you), but somehow I still managed to eat a red arrow. With a total of 52 points, I moved down to rank 769,110. I’ll be taking a look at all of my players individually to see what went wrong.

Goalkeepers

Vincente Guaita: 3 points

He’s not keeping cleans like he used to, but he’s still doing better than Gazzaniga. I hope he does better than Ryan or Foster though, because I am starting to question this decision.

Michael McGovern: 0 points

Didn’t play.

Defenders

Joe Gomez: 6 points

A brilliant debut for my cut rate gem! At a meager 5.1 million, he scored exactly the same amount of points as the popular Trent. Liverpool look back to their defensive best now, and even though Matip has returned to training, I feel secure in this pick.

Martin Kelly: 2 points

Wasteman. Absolute dross since I brought him in. Now it seems that Palace are making a move for Kyle Walker-Peters, meaning the end of his time in the starting 11. Will probably move him out for Holgate in the near future.

Caglar Soyuncu: 8 points

You beauty. A clean never looked in doubt, and he managed to hoover up two bonus somehow. Truly a mainstay in my squad. I am worried however, now that Ndidi is injured, how will the backline fare without his workrate?

Diego Rico: -1 points

Yikes. Nightmare fuel. Conceding 3 in the first half then being subbed. Glad he didn’t come on. Bournemouth are really falling apart.

John Lundstram: 1 point

It was away at Anfield. Not really expecting much. Now its time for a great run.

Midfielders

James Maddison: 11 points

Legend. He stepped up to fill the void left by Vardy. Probably could have had more against the shambles Newcastle defense. Now it turns out he may be injured too, it would just be too nice if I could field a full 11 once.

Dele Alli: 2 points

Every spurs player needs to be punted into the sun. The team is lost and directionless. Kane is injured until April. Abort.

Sadio Mane: 8 points

The MadMane! Had one great chance, and he took it well. Salah once again was the danger man, but Mane has repaid me with an equivalent score by fudging the assist Salah gave him.

Kevin de Bruyne: 2 points

A good win, hard fought. Kevin got nothing, but like always, he played very well. He was seemingly “knocked out” during the midweek fixture, but lets hope that wasn’t too serious.

Leander Dendoncker: 2 points

He does what I ask of him. 2 points delivered. Well done sir.

Forwards

Tammy Abraham: 5 points

A really really really undeserved cheese assist. I’ll take it. He’s returned a little bit in the past weeks, but this is still his last in my team. Bye!

Jamie Vardy: 0 points

yeuch. Two weeks running Vardy sits out. This affects everyone but he was my captain, and definitely could have found joy against Newcastle. This week he’s my captain again, and it’s his birthday, so we know he’s gonna be having a party.

Marcus Rashford (C): 2 points

He was my vice, and to be honest I was kinda optimistic about this. Arsenal is a great attacking fixture for a counterattacking side like Utd. However, Arteta seems to have paid attention in Pep’s lectures, as Arsenal absolutely ran that game and neutralized them. Can I get some of those ridiculous pens again?