Gameweek 34+ in Review

What a surprise this gameweek has been, both in good and bad ways. I finished all out on 81 points, which should be considered a gargantuan score, but only netted me a 16k green arrow. Surprisingly, I have quite a lot that i’m upset about this week even with this score that is well above the average. Let’s take a look at what happened.

Goalkeepers

Nick Pope: 8 points

Popey is the definition of essential. He has scored near double digits in 3 of the last 4 weeks, better than my entire forward line by a good distance. Not much more to say about it, every sensible manager will have him in their team.

Alex McCarthy: 3 points

A decent performance again from the man on my bench. Glad he’s keeping himself sharp for his upcoming appearance in my team.

Defenders

Trent Alexander-Arnold: 2 points

Once again, the Liverpool defense looked pretty shoddy. Brighton were knocking on the door for quite some time and I think they were unfortunate to only get one. I worry about him being rested next week.

Roman Saiss: 2 points

I am apocalyptically upset with what happened in this game. Ruined my whole day. Had to turn the football off. In the 93rd minute, John Egan ruined my double clean and sunk a dagger into my heart.

Matt Doherty: 2 points

What’s even more annoying is that he was the one that took my Pope clean last week. He is formally designated an enemy of the state. On the bright side, the xGA of Wolves is still quite low, so I hope they can go back to their cleaning ways.

Serge Aurier: 8 points

For once, I spiked the transfer. He was bombing forward all game, whipping in cross after cross as the most advanced player on the pitch. They were all crap mind you, but the BPS system doesn’t care about that.

Kiko Femenia: 2 points

Watford can’t even keep a clean against Norwich. Woeful. I really wish I knew about Lamptey because I think Kiko might get me negative points on bench boost.

Midfielders

Mohamed Salah: 18 points

Where the hell was this last week Mo? When I needed you, you turned into Elneny. When I don’t, you turn into R9. Glad that you burned everyone who took you out though, they really never learn. I’m quite confident he will take a rest against Burnley or I would be captaining him this week.

Kevin de Bruyne (C): 7 points

This game was enraging to watch. A KDB masterclass was undercut by shoddy finishing. He created 7 big chances, yet walked away with a lowly one assist and one bonus. Very disappointing to get from my captain 2 weeks running.

Anthony Martial: 6 points

He played his heart out, and created a goal out of nothing. His workrate has notably increased recently and I think his hunger for goals will really serve him well in the run in.

Bruno Fernandes: 14 points

Disgrace to the sport. One of the most disgusting dives I’ve ever seen, gets rewarded with a pen. It’s crazy that I can own Manchester United players, and when they score my rank goes down. It seems like captaining him is the only sensible move right now, as even a day like this when he’s off the boil, he can bullshit his way to 14 points.

Ismaila Sarr: 5 points

Praise be! Finally, my suffering ends and I get a return from Sarr. It was a deflected pass that went in through a wonderful bicycle kick, but my god I will take it and I was overjoyed to see a number other than 2 next to his name.

Forwards

Raul Jimenez: 2 points

Another stinker from Mr. Consistent, and the underlying numbers are just as bad. I feel the urge growing to take him out, but as my all time favorite fantasy asset, I can’t give up on him yet. However, if that baby pops out anytime soon I’ll be shipping him.

Dominic Calvert-Lewin: 1 point

I thought benching him would finally guarantee a goal, but no, it was his worst score and performance since the restart. I sold him before the gameweek even ended. Goodbye and good riddance.

Eddie Nketiah: -2 points

This is really symbolic of how shocking my forward line has been since the restart. Eddie got on, made one tackle, and was immediately and rightfully sent off. A straight red gives him a ban, right up to when I was planning on bench boosting, I now worry that this will affect his minutes in that week rendering him quite useless.

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