A good week, with a green arrow, yet I can’t help but feel disappointed. I was eliminated from a cup by a dead team, as dictated by tradition. Once again, I have left an amazing amount of points on my bench, with yet another clean from Rico and a first goal from Greenwood. Time to shake things up and take a hit, I need some differentials to climb the ranks. I’ll take a look at all of my players to see what went right.

Goalkeepers

Paulo Gazzaniga: 3 points

Not a great performance by Spurs at all, but Gazza managed to scrape a save point. He’s chugging along, and were I to have the funds, I would probably swap him out.

Michael McGovern: 0 points

Didn’t play.

Defenders

Trent-Alexander Arnold: 6 points

A fitting farewell for the lad. He has now finally banked a clean sheet, after missing last weeks one. I like him as an asset, his creativity is off the charts, but I just don’t think he’s quite worth the price, especially over these next few weeks. I’ll be sure to get him back by gameweek 25 when this decision has fully bitten me on the ass.

John Lundstram: 11 points

Last week I called the Lord into question, now I come back, groveling, and seeking forgiveness. A fat haul from the gem himself, and now that hes about to cross the 50% ownership mark, I think hes going to be truly undroppable.

Caglar Soyuncu: 3 point

It really is a credit to how good this man is, that he can get a bone in a game where he fails to keep a clean sheet. Once again, my theory of blanking Leicester assets rings true, however this time it was two blanking and one returning. I long for the days of the triple return. I hope to see those days again.

Diego Rico: 6 points

sigh. Its literally every time now. I bench him, he hauls. I predict they wont be able to clean without Ake, they clean twice in a row. Now when I start him this week, I guarantee a 1 pointer. Just watch.

Jetro Willems: 2 points

Oh wow, for once he doesn’t haul off the bench. I’ll be giving him a start, since Newcastle are actually looking quite good at the back, so brace yourself for yet another failure to return. He’s also double risen since I got him to bank a profit, so despite him never getting me points i’m not too upset.

Midfielders

Kevin de Bruyne: 19 points

Anyone that sold him, I would like you to know: you are a big dumb idiot, and never doubt the best player in the Premier League ever again. KDB was truly sensational, absolutely unplayable on the day. He would have bagged a first half hat-trick were it not from an unbelievable save from Leno. Perhaps the best half of football I’ve seen since Lewandowski’s 5 goals in 9 minutes. This man is nailed in my team. Forever.

Sadio Mane: 6 points

Well, I’ve gone and done it again. Since shipping Salah, he hauled twice, while Mane was shit. This always happens. Without fail. This week, Mane was robbed of a goal by VAR, yet he still returned an assist. Let’s hope he makes this move worthwhile after the blank.

James Maddison: 2 points

Leicester were not great this week, and neither was the heartbeat of the team, Maddo. We can’t expect big hauls from him every week, but I am thinking that Leicester may be able to catch City on the counter just like Utd did. Watch this space.

Heung-Min Son: 2 points

Speaking of bad performances, Tottenham. They got so incredibly lucky to steal a win out of this game at the last second, and nobody really looked that good. That being said, Son is lethal mainly at home, and I’ll be handing him the armband for the very tricky upcoming week.

Mason Mount: 2 points

Absolute horseshit from Chelsea. Their form is atrocious, and the ‘Ole’ period has come to an end. The wheels have seemingly come off the bus and I cannot support this wasteman any longer. Farewell Mason, may our paths cross again one day.

Forwards

Tammy Abraham: 2 points

Just crap. Chelsea have been horrible, but he is still the only one who looks like scoring. He was an xG beast at the start of the season, so lets hope he can regain his form. In the current state hes in, he looks like the most likely makeweight for any future transfer plans I may have.

Jamie Vardy (C): 5 points

And the streak comes to an end, by the hand of the goal accreditation panel. I was initially upset when I saw Vardy’s goal had been changed into a measly assist, but upon watching the replay it looked like Krul just decided to skyhook the ball into his own net for no particular reason. It’s a shame Vardy won’t break his record. I still have faith, and I think he could really do some damage to this Manchester City side.

Mason Greenwood: 8 points

My boy! My darling baby boy! Mason scores his first ever premier league goal, at the young age of 17! I’m so happy for him. Unfortunately, he was last on my bench, I should have shown more faith. It’s with a heavy heart that I must admit that I am shipping him out, for his more senior strike partner. Best of luck out there Mason, I know our paths will cross again.