Gameweek 13 in Review

Finally the last international break (until march) has come and gone! I spent most of this weekend writing a 3000 word paper, so as a treat I took an extra day to finish my write up. Sorry! A relatively high scoring week once again, mainly due to correct captaincy choice, saw me get 62 points and receive a green arrow all the way up to 368,181. Slowly but surely I am clawing my way back up to the top 100k, but I’ll need to keep spiking my captains until then. I’ll be assessing all of my player’s performances individually to see what went right.


Paulo Gazzaniga: 2 points

This was looking really good until the last twenty minutes. He was once again good for a save point, and Mourinho’s new look Spurs are hopefully going to tighten up at the back.

Michael McGovern: 0 points

Didn’t play.


John Lundstram: 3 points

Lads hes gone and done it again. “Defender” Lunny grabbed an assist early on in this game, and was well on his way to a clean sheet and max bonus. He then ate a yellow (He is now one away from a ban) and conceded 3 goals in quick succession, to end up with 3. That’s still pretty good for someone who costed me next to nothing.

Trent Alexander-Arnold: 2 points

I have had it with these scouse mongs. Everything always goes their way but they can never keep a clean sheet. They went from watertight at the back last year to Swiss Cheese this year. Trent has also been pretty quiet going forward, while Robbo is finding some joy. I’m sure that will even out over the season though.

Jetro Willems: 1 point

Why did I do this? Why would I possibly think this was a good idea? Now every time I check my team his name stares back at me, reminding me of my own idiocy. What good would a Newcastle defender ever do? There is no more Rafa Benitez and they wont be play the shambolic Hammers every week. He’s going out the window for a Palace defender soon.

Caglar Soyuncu: 6 points

My ever-present. My Rock. The foundation of my success. He quietly racks up clean after clean, and I am so happy that I got him for such a cheap price, and I’m especially happy I didn’t get Tomori instead. He’s gonna start every single week for me.

Diego Rico: 0 points

The final piece of my 5-at-the-back puzzle. Unintentional of course, as my main man MoSalad ended up riding the bench. He did exactly what I expected of him, which was conceding a lot and getting shown the mustard. There was a reason I chose to bench him. However, he gave me a lot of points and joy off the bench before so I can’t be upset at him.


Mason Mount: 1 point

A few weeks ago, I started theorizing that Mason Mount was in fact, wank. It seems like Fat Frank is an avid FFDD reader, as he chose to bench him in favor of a more defensive setup against the citizens. Not to worry though, he’ll play in the Champions League! Oh whats that? Benched again you say? This certainly is cause for concern. But with big Tamela out I’m not sure I want a Chelsea creator anyways. Another potential mad for the outgoing transfer bin.

Kevin de Bruyne: 7 points

Another rock. Someone to depend on. The magic Belgian banged one in against the club that said he wasn’t up to Premier League standard. By the time he’s done I’m certain we will think of him as the greatest Midfielder to ever grace the Prem. I shifted some City assets in recent weeks, but Deep Royne is going nowhere.

James Maddison: 3 points

Well, it was bound to happen. It was a strange swing of events, that saw Madders get 8 points, then lose them all, but somehow I was still happy about the result. He plays deep as hell and can’t return every game, but his price is rising like a rocket and I’m happy with him. Lets hope for some assists against the joke of a side that is Everton Football Club.

Mohamed Salah: 0 points

There was a niggle before the international break. He sat the whole thing out. He was pictured in training. I was happy with that. I don’t need the Sad(io) Man. Well, turns out I do need him. Or I did, as he is now the exact same price as the Pharaoh. Having the top scorer of the last two seasons as a differential is quite interesting though, so I might just persist with him.

Heung-Min Son: 13 points

Tell me can you feel the Son-Shine? Does it brighten up your day?

I was very scared of selling Raheem Sterling. The allure of Son however was too great to resist. Any boy did it pay off. This transfer bagged me net 11 points, and a ticket on the new look Spurs attack. Only downside is that after the truly wank performance against Chelsea, a lot of managers will be doing this exact move and killing my differential. Oh well, it was nice to be the first on the hype train for once.


Jamie Vardy (C): 12 points

Chat Shit Get Banged. Once again, the Leicester talisman delivers. His pregame ritual is necking a Red Bull and two glasses of Espresso, and it really seems to be working. The aforementioned situation was this, Vardy took a pen, it was saved and Madders scored the rebound. Shock horror for all Vardy-cappers. Thanks to VAR however, the pen was retaken due to encroachment. Ice in his veins, Jamie took it again and scored with no hesitation, and hauled for me once again. Keep it up.

Aaron Connolly: 0 points

Didn’t play. It seems like he’s picked up some sort of injury and is about to fall in price. This may be goodbye my boy. I wish you all the best in your travels.

Mason Greenwood: 5 points


Mason, I’m so proud of you that I might just cry. I’ve spent 12 weeks watching you basically just run up and down the pitch doing absolutely nothing, but now you finally proved your worth. Scoring a goal in your limited cameo against the defensively resolute Blades is nothing to scoff at, and I promise you, this has earned you a promotion from 3rd on my bench to 2nd. Keep your head up King.

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